ROSE: Imagine that this maze is a picture of our reality.
ROSE: Spanning the many intertwined game sessions, and everything else we've affected during our journey.
JOHN: ok.
JOHN: but this still sounds suspiciously like riddle bullshit.
ROSE: John, do you really mean to imply that the last three years were, in any respect, NOT bullshit?
JOHN: hmm.
JOHN: point taken, i guess.
JOHN: you may continue.
ROSE: I was going to. But thank you for the graceful magnanimity of your acquiescence. I guess.
JOHN: you are welcome. that is just the kind of guy i am.
ROSE: Each pathway through the maze represents a different timeline. Most of them lead into dead ends, but there's at least one that travels all the way through to us winning the game.
ROSE: The many storied Alpha timeline.
JOHN: so, it's like a treasure map?
JOHN: and we are trying to find the real timeline?
JOHN: but we already did that!
ROSE: Ah. Not quite.
ROSE: Instead of a treasure map, think about it like a geographical map.
ROSE: If you have a map of Earth's United States of America, you can point out the city where you lived. But the map itself doesn't have an implicit goal.
ROSE: Its purpose isn't to give directions to your house in particular, any more than to my house, or to the neighbouring Burger King.
ROSE: As far as a country is concerned, asking which city is the REAL one isn't a meaningful question. All of the terrain is real, even if there are some places I certainly wouldn't want to live.
ROSE: Likewise, all timelines are real in that sense, regardless of which particular one we're inhabiting. We can't directly observe the others, but neither could you have seen New York while standing in the suburbs of Seattle.
ROSE: Does that make sense so far?
JOHN: i... i guess so?
JADE: sure
DAVE: okay but theres something about this i still really dont get
DAVE: where did the vintage memorabilia come from
DAVE: i havent seen it before
DAVE: didnt we go over all that stuff
DAVE: whos been holding out
ROSE: Really, Dave? Weren't you the one in a hurry?
ROSE: Is that REALLY the mystery that needs solving right now?
DAVE: ummmm
DAVE: ...
DAVE: no?
ROSE: Well, what kind of Hero of Light would I be if I didn't solve it for you anyway.
ROSE: The original was in my late mother's effects. An inheritance waiting to be found by my prying, grave robbing fingers.
ROSE: It seems that she had a variety of interests beyond fucking with me and committing scientific crimes against god and man while smash faced drunk.
JADE: well
JADE: i know you are not being serious right now?
JADE: but i think it makes sense from what you told me about her
JADE: jedi are kind of like wizards
ROSE: Yeah...
ROSE: But I'm still not sure what to think about her vacuum sealed collection of signed bubblegum cards, all of which have carefully preserved bite marks gouged through the paper.
ROSE: Who does that?!
DAVE: actually
DAVE: that sounds kinda hilarious
ROSE: Then congratulations, they're yours.
ROSE: But...
ROSE: Anyway.
ROSE: Are there any more procedural inanities to be ironed out?
KARKAT: YEAH.
KARKAT: WHICH SHIP AM I SUPPOSED TO BE?
ROSE: The lower pink one.
In case you did not decode the last news update's SECRET CLUE.... WhatPumpkin will be at Emerald City Comic Con once again this year!
So if you are in Seattle this April 7-10, you should stop by and say hi, and also purchase many of our fine t-shirts.
And if you aren't a kickstarter backer, this is your chance to play the Hiveswap sneak preview yourself, instead of being stuck watching strangers make silly choices on youtube. And maybe... your chance to play a DIFFERENT sneak preview????
I know what you're wondering, because I've gotten approximately a zillion inquiries about this: will I personally be in Seattle to meet fans this April 7-10, or will I be too busy doing cries into my keyboard?
(That's a trick question btw. Those things are not mutually exclusive.)
Hiveswap update!!!!! Read it here. It is pretty exciting news, I think, and I am unsurprised to discover that you agree with me completely.
Kickstarter backers will have noticed that they've been sent a playable sneak preview, but if that's not you, there MAY still be an opportunity to get your greedy peepers on it? (And by "may" I of course mean "will definitely".)
It's going to be a surprise, but just between me and you and the millions of other people reading this website, I'll let you have a teensy hint. See if you can decipher the SECRET CLUE:
Homestuck will be on pause until next Monday, but seriously who cares about that when you could be finding out about some awesome new MSPA merchandise!
Hey! You! Did you hear that there's awesome new MSPA merchandise?
Maybe you have been dreaming of a shirt that screams into the world's eyeballs that you are one groovy dude who loves Homestuck? (These things are synonyms.)
Wow!!!! Looks like your dreams just got turned into true reality!
But wait! There is something even more guaranteed to blow your mind with it's unbelievable astoundingness. Homestuck panel prints are a thing now!
For many years it's seemed like an impossible idea, since animation effects don't work on paper, and also every Homestuck panel is online anyway?
But our greatest MSPA scientists have been working on the problem non-stop for years, abacuses and slide rules snapping, test-tubalizers being carefully examined under microscopificators, and at last they have sent word over the mail-electronifier that there's been a breakthrough! Homestuck: solved forever!!!!
These are lenticular prints, which you may have seen on movie posters or really neat backpacks? The secret is that, when you move the image, it appears to flip between frames... kind of exactly like an animated gif that just got turned into true reality! What's left that HASN'T been turned into true reality anymore?
Here are some examples you can click on to see how they work, and you can peruse all 12 at the Homestuck store.
I was so blown away by this technological advancement, I immediately set to work making the next Homestuck book entirely out of lenticular images. Finally, it will offer a full and accurate MsPaintAdventures.com experience.
In unrelated news, the next Homestuck book will be 5 feet wide and $10,000 a copy.
Awwwwwwwwww. (Everyone: Awwwwwwwwwwww.) That was adorable!
Make sure and check the credits page to meet all the contributors who just injected a live kitten directly into your heart. (Awwwwwwww!)
I bet this update sure has you feeling smug that you ordered a pack of MSPA Quadrant Day cards in time for YOUR Quadrant Day celebrations!
What's that? You DIDN'T? (Readers who have their life priorities in order, this paragraph isn't meant for you. You may resume feeling smug.) Well, who said that Quadrant Day is February 14th, anyway. Other than me, I guess??? And now I'm saying that the holiday officially occurs 6 to 8 weeks from the moment you chose to gently caress this news post with your wibbling peep orbs.
Whew! Cutting it close, aren't you? Better hurry and order a set RIGHT NOW.
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