JADE: do you remember when i thought i knew EVERYTHING about the game we were about to play?
JOHN: no?
JOHN: i don't remember you ever saying something like that.
JADE: of course i didnt say it like that! i make an effort to not be a rude fucking jerk!
JOHN: um.
JADE: but i was certain i knew what we were getting ourselves into, and the purpose of the game, and how it was going to end!
JADE: and then i turned around and offered you guys "helpful" tidbits of information until you were even more confused than i was!
JOHN: oh right. yes, i remember that. you had us all convinced you were psychic!
JOHN: i was impressed, it was a very cunning ruse.
JADE: no it wasnt
JADE: sburb wasnt what i thought it would be
JADE: everything that the clouds in skaia had shown me was true, but it never let me see the full context of what was going on... only bits and pieces that led me to the wrong conclusions!
JADE: because that was what i needed to believe so that we would start playing in the first place!
JADE: i didnt know ANYTHING!
JADE: and then later my dream self became a sprite, and as a part of that she was given a deep knowledge of the games mechanics :/
JOHN: i thought you only had vague memories of all that stuff?
JADE: EXACTLY!!!
JADE: and the memories i DID get to keep made me sure that i knew what was waiting in the new session!
JADE: and look what happened there!
JOHN: okay, but i think it was reasonable for you not to guess that an evil pastry fish dictator with doggy mind control took over?
JOHN: i didn't guess that either, because it would have been a completely insane thing to expect!
JADE: argh! obviously im not mad that i wasnt ready for that EXACT THING
JADE: but i should have been prepared for SOME kind of shenanigans to be occurring
JADE: but no! i was so certain that i had the best powers! i wasnt expecting that things would go wrong, but even if they did i was sure i could handle it!
JOHN: but that's not--
JADE: IM! NOT! DONE!!!
JADE: do you know what the clouds of skaia showed me after we had regained control of our kid adult guardians session???
JOHN: blar. fine.
JOHN: what?
JADE: THIS!!!!
JADE: us standing on this very platform and opening the door into bilious slick junior!
JADE: thats why i was never worried about any of our impossible plans!
JADE: because i KNEW we would win!
JADE: because skaia had shown me that scene and i was certain i understood what it meant!!
JADE: except i was fooled! AGAIN!!!!
JADE: it keeps happening!!!
JOHN: we did win though!
JADE: so what!!
JADE: if i had known what was going to happen next i wouldnt have helped it along
JOHN: hmmm.
JOHN: then it sounds to me like skaia knew what it was doing by not giving you that choice!
JOHN: if we had failed, i still wouldn't get to visit our brand new universe, but neither would anyone else!
JOHN: how would that be better?
JADE: ...
JADE: i can tell you know
JADE: now that rose pointed it out... there IS a difference
JADE: its almost...
JADE: hmmm...
JADE: its as if i cant pick up your scent
JADE: why didnt i notice???
JOHN: well personally, i think it is a good thing that i don't smell!
JOHN: it is one of my better qualities.
JADE: grrrrrrrrr!
JOHN: yes, yes, we know that you are a furry and like to sniff things...
JOHN: oh hey, i have just gotten an idea. maybe this will work!
JOHN: JADE! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE! BAD GIRL!
JOHN: GET OUT!
JOHN: OUT!
JOHN: OUTSIDE!
JOHN: DON'T MAKE ME GET THE NEWSPAPER!!!!
JADE: STOP IT!!!!!!
JADE: this isnt the time for stupid jokes john!
JOHN: duh, i am aware of that.
JOHN: so stop fucking around already!!
JOHN: you staying behind will not change anything, that is something *i* am certain about.
JOHN: our giant frog universe doesn't care! it is not going to change its mind and let me in, and from what i am hearing that isn't a thing it could do even if it was aware that i existed, which it is probably not!
JADE: i know!
JADE: i know that theres nothing anybody can do! >:O
JADE: as soon as i understood what the problem was, i also understood that i had no way to take you with us :(
JOHN: so why are you saying all of this nonsense?! if you're not trying to copy a dumbass plan made by a ranty alien, what the hell ARE you doing?
JOHN: maybe you were jealous that the rest of us got to act like crazy idiots the whole time and decided that you were going to take your turn while you had the chance?
JOHN: because if that is it, let me tell you jade, you were not immune to acting like a crazy person.
JADE: its not that!!!
JOHN: then what?
JOHN: are you just trying to make my life harder? do you think i am not having enough problems right now!
JOHN: or do you think that what i REALLY WANTED was to spend my last few seconds with you guys having the same argument i JUST HAD with dave and karkat???
JADE: no!
JOHN: well okay then! i give up! what's the point? what the hell are you trying to accomplish here!!
JADE: you don't know what its like to be alone!!!!!
JADE: >:(
JOHN: um, what?
JADE: youve never had to be alone, john! not truly
JADE: you dont know that it really.......
JADE: it HURTS
JOHN: oh no.
JOHN: jade, i'm so sorry--
JADE: no! shut up! this isn't about being sorry!
JADE: you made the choices that you had to make, and now its my turn!
JADE: im not letting that happen to you
JADE: you are my brother and my best friend! and i know that i cant save you, but i CAN make sure that youre not trapped here alone forever
ROSE: Not forever.
In case you did not decode the last news update's SECRET CLUE.... WhatPumpkin will be at Emerald City Comic Con once again this year!
So if you are in Seattle this April 7-10, you should stop by and say hi, and also purchase many of our fine t-shirts.
And if you aren't a kickstarter backer, this is your chance to play the Hiveswap sneak preview yourself, instead of being stuck watching strangers make silly choices on youtube. And maybe... your chance to play a DIFFERENT sneak preview????
I know what you're wondering, because I've gotten approximately a zillion inquiries about this: will I personally be in Seattle to meet fans this April 7-10, or will I be too busy doing cries into my keyboard?
(That's a trick question btw. Those things are not mutually exclusive.)
Hiveswap update!!!!! Read it here. It is pretty exciting news, I think, and I am unsurprised to discover that you agree with me completely.
Kickstarter backers will have noticed that they've been sent a playable sneak preview, but if that's not you, there MAY still be an opportunity to get your greedy peepers on it? (And by "may" I of course mean "will definitely".)
It's going to be a surprise, but just between me and you and the millions of other people reading this website, I'll let you have a teensy hint. See if you can decipher the SECRET CLUE:
Homestuck will be on pause until next Monday, but seriously who cares about that when you could be finding out about some awesome new MSPA merchandise!
Hey! You! Did you hear that there's awesome new MSPA merchandise?
Maybe you have been dreaming of a shirt that screams into the world's eyeballs that you are one groovy dude who loves Homestuck? (These things are synonyms.)
Wow!!!! Looks like your dreams just got turned into true reality!
But wait! There is something even more guaranteed to blow your mind with it's unbelievable astoundingness. Homestuck panel prints are a thing now!
For many years it's seemed like an impossible idea, since animation effects don't work on paper, and also every Homestuck panel is online anyway?
But our greatest MSPA scientists have been working on the problem non-stop for years, abacuses and slide rules snapping, test-tubalizers being carefully examined under microscopificators, and at last they have sent word over the mail-electronifier that there's been a breakthrough! Homestuck: solved forever!!!!
These are lenticular prints, which you may have seen on movie posters or really neat backpacks? The secret is that, when you move the image, it appears to flip between frames... kind of exactly like an animated gif that just got turned into true reality! What's left that HASN'T been turned into true reality anymore?
Here are some examples you can click on to see how they work, and you can peruse all 12 at the Homestuck store.
I was so blown away by this technological advancement, I immediately set to work making the next Homestuck book entirely out of lenticular images. Finally, it will offer a full and accurate MsPaintAdventures.com experience.
In unrelated news, the next Homestuck book will be 5 feet wide and $10,000 a copy.
Awwwwwwwwww. (Everyone: Awwwwwwwwwwww.) That was adorable!
Make sure and check the credits page to meet all the contributors who just injected a live kitten directly into your heart. (Awwwwwwww!)
I bet this update sure has you feeling smug that you ordered a pack of MSPA Quadrant Day cards in time for YOUR Quadrant Day celebrations!
What's that? You DIDN'T? (Readers who have their life priorities in order, this paragraph isn't meant for you. You may resume feeling smug.) Well, who said that Quadrant Day is February 14th, anyway. Other than me, I guess??? And now I'm saying that the holiday officially occurs 6 to 8 weeks from the moment you chose to gently caress this news post with your wibbling peep orbs.
Whew! Cutting it close, aren't you? Better hurry and order a set RIGHT NOW.
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