JOHN: hmm.
JOHN: you know......
JADE: what?
JOHN: dave is, uh. having a "difficult" "time" with the current situation.
JADE: thats a nice way of putting it!
JOHN: and it sounds like terezi is as well, which i GUESS is understandable?
JOHN: and... oh geez. i don't know if i even want to think about my teen nanna being inside terezi's body?
JADE: hehehe!
JADE: it sounds like you are the one having a difficult time with the current situation!! >:P
JOHN: hahahaha.... maybe! but that's kind of my point!
JOHN: which is that you actually seem pretty calm about the whole thing.
JADE: of course!
JADE: because.......
JADE: i am a cool guy now!
JADE: so i have to be cool about it
JOHN: hahahahahaha!
JADE: sooooo coooooool..... :D
JOHN: but still, isn't it... strange?
JOHN: to be you, but to also be dave at the same time?
JOHN: there's got to be a better way to say that.
JADE: its okay
JADE: i know what you mean
JADE: and yes, it is pretty strange!
JADE: but not in a bad way?
JADE: like...
JADE: i spent most of my life on an island with no other people around
JADE: not that i was lonely!
JADE: i had you guys to talk to and bec and prospit and even my grandpa
JADE: sort of
JADE: but most of the time it was only me
JADE: and even when i met you in the game...
JADE: well i spent most of the last couple years by myself too
JADE: nannasprite tried her best to be good company, but it was never that different from living with the pretend ghost of my grandpa
JADE: and now that im older, hanging around with only chess guys gets really repetitive after a while
JADE: i know thats not fair! they are adorable and their concerns are important to them!
JADE: but part of their purpose in sburb is to be exiled in boring places for a very long time
JADE: potentially millions of years!
JADE: without being able to change very much
JADE: and if they had more complicated personalities they could probably not survive that?
JOHN: no, probably not.
JADE: ......sigh
JADE: im not proud of it, but there's a part of me thats always felt like the only real person in the entire universe
JADE: it gets... tiring :/
JADE: so getting to be someone else for a while...
JADE: its like going on a vacation for the first time in my life!
JADE: like im getting to finally visit the wider world
JADE: one that i KNEW existed but never could truly imagine or expect to see
JADE: so i might as well not ruin the experience by freaking out about it...
JADE: especially since I know ill go home in the end! :D
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: that's...
JOHN: sad.
JADE: is it? i didnt mean it to be.
JADE: i dont feel sad about it
JOHN: i got to hang out with a jade on my journey here, and you're pretty great company!
JOHN: even after three years, you were... never the person i was sick of.
JADE: thanks john!
JADE: it sounds like we had an awesome time!
JOHN: yeah, we sure did!
JADE: youll have to tell me all about it!
JADE: every detail!!
JOHN: haha, that would take forever!
JADE: nooooo.... only three years!!
JADE: and then we will be even :p
JOHN: ha, that's fair.
KARKAT: ...OKAY. SO THEN, YOU KNOW HOW HUMANS ARE ALL COLOUR BLIND?
(JOHN): uh.
DAVE: no were not
(JOHN): yeah karkat! i took a test for that every time i got new glasses, and i can see colours just fine.
KARKAT: FINE FOR A HUMAN, YOU MEAN. STOP BEING SO ANTHROPOCENTRIC.
KARKAT: YOUR WHOLE FUCKING SPECIES IS COLOUR BLIND THE WAY KANAYA IS COLOUR BLIND!
KARKAT: I THINK IT'S A DIURNAL INSENSITIVITY THING?
KARKAT: IT'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT!
DAVE: uh bro
DAVE: kanaya isnt colour blind
(JOHN): yes, this is the first time i'm hearing about this as well.
KARKAT: OF COURSE SHE IS!
KARKAT: WE MAKE FUN OF HER EYE SEARINGLY VIVID HUE PREFERENCES ALL THE DAMN TIME!
DAVE: well yeah but i thought that was just yall being assholes like usual
KARKAT: IT WAS!
KARKAT: OR IS THERE A MAGICAL HUMAN METHOD OF MOCKING YOUR GOOD BUDDY'S PHYSICAL DISABILITIES WHILE SOMEHOW NOT BEING A GIANT ASSHOLE IN THE PROCESS?
KARKAT: BECAUSE IF THERE IS, I'M LISTENING! ENLIGHTEN ME WITH YOUR HUMAN SECRETS.
(JOHN): but what about sollux?
KARKAT: HE'S THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE OF ALL!
(JOHN): okay, i'm not going to argue about that, but like, isn't he the colour blind one?
KARKAT: NO?
KARKAT: WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?
(JOHN): yeah, because he can only see red and blue, or whatever?
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK. THAT'S NOT...
KARKAT: DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT COLOURS ARE? OR HOW EYES WORK?
KARKAT: IF SOLLUX COULDN'T SEE YELLOW HOW WOULD HE BE ABLE TO WHINE ABOUT IT GIVING HIM MIGRAINES?
KARKAT: CRAM THAT MYSTERY IN YOUR THINK PIPE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR QUIVERING ANAL SQUELCH HOLE!
(JOHN): gross.
JOHN: i have no idea what karkat is yelling about, but i should takeoff before you miss it!
JOHN: at least until the other me fucks up and turns this conversation extra awkward. :/
JADE: between you and me john... we were already heading towards one of the most awkward conversations in the history of paradox space
JADE: i dont think theres anything any you could do to make it more awkward than it was going to be anyway!
JOHN: huh, that's... oddly reassuring.
JOHN: thanks!
JADE: youre welcome! :)
JOHN: oh by the way, tell rose i said hi!
JADE: tell her yourself! shes not that far away
JOHN: well, maybe i will!
JOHN: maybe i will........
In case you did not decode the last news update's SECRET CLUE.... WhatPumpkin will be at Emerald City Comic Con once again this year!
So if you are in Seattle this April 7-10, you should stop by and say hi, and also purchase many of our fine t-shirts.
And if you aren't a kickstarter backer, this is your chance to play the Hiveswap sneak preview yourself, instead of being stuck watching strangers make silly choices on youtube. And maybe... your chance to play a DIFFERENT sneak preview????
I know what you're wondering, because I've gotten approximately a zillion inquiries about this: will I personally be in Seattle to meet fans this April 7-10, or will I be too busy doing cries into my keyboard?
(That's a trick question btw. Those things are not mutually exclusive.)
Hiveswap update!!!!! Read it here. It is pretty exciting news, I think, and I am unsurprised to discover that you agree with me completely.
Kickstarter backers will have noticed that they've been sent a playable sneak preview, but if that's not you, there MAY still be an opportunity to get your greedy peepers on it? (And by "may" I of course mean "will definitely".)
It's going to be a surprise, but just between me and you and the millions of other people reading this website, I'll let you have a teensy hint. See if you can decipher the SECRET CLUE:
Homestuck will be on pause until next Monday, but seriously who cares about that when you could be finding out about some awesome new MSPA merchandise!
Hey! You! Did you hear that there's awesome new MSPA merchandise?
Maybe you have been dreaming of a shirt that screams into the world's eyeballs that you are one groovy dude who loves Homestuck? (These things are synonyms.)
Wow!!!! Looks like your dreams just got turned into true reality!
But wait! There is something even more guaranteed to blow your mind with it's unbelievable astoundingness. Homestuck panel prints are a thing now!
For many years it's seemed like an impossible idea, since animation effects don't work on paper, and also every Homestuck panel is online anyway?
But our greatest MSPA scientists have been working on the problem non-stop for years, abacuses and slide rules snapping, test-tubalizers being carefully examined under microscopificators, and at last they have sent word over the mail-electronifier that there's been a breakthrough! Homestuck: solved forever!!!!
These are lenticular prints, which you may have seen on movie posters or really neat backpacks? The secret is that, when you move the image, it appears to flip between frames... kind of exactly like an animated gif that just got turned into true reality! What's left that HASN'T been turned into true reality anymore?
Here are some examples you can click on to see how they work, and you can peruse all 12 at the Homestuck store.
I was so blown away by this technological advancement, I immediately set to work making the next Homestuck book entirely out of lenticular images. Finally, it will offer a full and accurate MsPaintAdventures.com experience.
In unrelated news, the next Homestuck book will be 5 feet wide and $10,000 a copy.
Awwwwwwwwww. (Everyone: Awwwwwwwwwwww.) That was adorable!
Make sure and check the credits page to meet all the contributors who just injected a live kitten directly into your heart. (Awwwwwwww!)
I bet this update sure has you feeling smug that you ordered a pack of MSPA Quadrant Day cards in time for YOUR Quadrant Day celebrations!
What's that? You DIDN'T? (Readers who have their life priorities in order, this paragraph isn't meant for you. You may resume feeling smug.) Well, who said that Quadrant Day is February 14th, anyway. Other than me, I guess??? And now I'm saying that the holiday officially occurs 6 to 8 weeks from the moment you chose to gently caress this news post with your wibbling peep orbs.
Whew! Cutting it close, aren't you? Better hurry and order a set RIGHT NOW.
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